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8 ESSENTIAL SKILLS FOR MANAGING ADD

1. Slow Down

ADDers seem to always be operating on over-drive -- mentally, physically, or both. In my opinion, slowing down is the first and most necessary skill for managing ADD.

2. Practice Excellent Self-Care

ADDers are prone to putting themselves last. Why is this? How will you ever "get it together" if you don't dedicate time and energy to yourself?

3. Know Your Own ADD

ADD affects us all in different ways. You can't effectively manage ADD without being aware of the specific ways in which it affects you.

4. Actively Use Your Learning and Processing Modalities

Identifying the natural modalities in which you are able to sustain focus and process information and feelings will make your personal and professional lives much easier.

5. Focus on Your Strengths

Everyone has strengths, skills, talents, and passions. Increasing the time you spend on these good things will increase both your self-esteem and your happiness.

6. Think Positively

Patterns of negative thinking can be reversed. Negative thinking will hold you back. Positive thinking will propel you forward.

7. Plan the Time to Plan...Everything

Planning doesn't always come easily to ADDers. Developing tools and systems for planning will streamline organization and time management.

8. Take Risks

This doesn't refer to speed racing or skydiving! It refers to stepping outside your comfort zone and doing things that may be uncomfortable, like asking for that raise, taking up that new hobby, or pursuing that life-long passion. If you don't take the risk, you won't get the reward.

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MORE ON "ESSENTIAL SKILLS"

Slow Down

While it seems counterintuitive to most adults with ADD who feel like they are always running behind on life, slowing down is essential for ADD management. Sometimes it is necessary to slow down in order to speed up. Slowing down helps reduce stress and overwhelm. Slowing down can be achieved by any or all of the following:

• “Recharging” on a daily basis, even if that time starts out as only 5 minutes a day

• Retreating from stressful situations to get calm and centered

• Establishing a “winding down” routine 2-3 hours before bedtime

Action Step -- identify personal strategies for slowing down:

• What can you do on a daily basis to slow down?

• What can you do to slow down during times of stress and overwhelm?

• What can you do to wind down at night and ensure proper sleep?

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Practice Excellent Self-Care

When we think about self-care, nutrition, exercise, and sleep often come to mind. While these are all very necessary to practicing excellent self-care, there is much more that often gets overlooked. In order to practice excellent self-care one must:

• Understand the importance of self-care; “put on your oxygen mask”

• Slow down during times of stress

• Get over perfectionism

Action Step -- identify the areas of your life in which you hold yourself to unrealistic or perfectionist standards:

• Do you “beat yourself up” when you don’t live up to those unrealistic expectations?

• Identify a time when you “beat yourself up” over something. What was it, and what happened?

• Now imagine that it wasn’t you who did this thing, but a good friend of yours. If this friend came to you for support, what would you tell her/him?

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Think Positively

Positive thinking comes naturally for some; for others it takes time and practice to establish positive thinking patterns. These exercises are helpful for shifting into positive thinking patterns.

Group Brainstorm:

• What does it mean to think positively or negatively?

• How does negative thinking hold a person back in life?

Action Step -- re-think the “shoulds”:

Fill in the following sentence by listing 2 things that you’ve recently thought you “should” do.

1. I should ____________________________________.

2. I should ____________________________________.

Now take those two “shoulds” and re-frame them by writing the exact same words that you did in question #1.

1. If I really wanted to, I would ___________________________________.

2. If I really wanted to, I would ___________________________________.

Now that you’ve approached these “shoulds” from a different perspective, do you really want to do the two things you listed above? Why or why not?

1.

2.

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Focus on Your Strengths

List 5 things that you like to do:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

List the top 5 successes or accomplishments in your life:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

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Plan the Time to Plan

If there is one skill that most adults with ADD need a lot of help with, it’s planning! Simple tasks, like cleaning a closet, can become so overwhelming that we never actually end up doing the task we intended. When you plan ahead to tackle a task, you take away the intensity of it.

And planning itself isn’t enough! We must plan the time to plan. This means scheduling in time not just to complete the task, but to plan exactly how you will complete the task before you get started. This is the tool that will allow you to follow through on tasks without being overwhelmed by them.

Action Step -- plan a project:

Think of an area in your home that really needs to be organized. Perhaps a closet, a chest of drawers, some kitchen cabinets, a bookshelf, your desk, or whatever it is that you’ve been wanting to organize. Write the project here:

Now, think about the necessary steps that will have to be performed in order for you to fully and completely finish the task. Write down 3-5 steps, and more if necessary.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

How much time do you estimate this task will take until it’s completed?

Now double that number. The second number may be a more realistic estimate of the time it will take you to complete the project.

What is a realistic deadline for this project? When will you have time to devote to this project? Write those times here:

Action Step -- create a personal strategy for daily planning:

The planning tool I will use is

I will dedicate minutes each day to review and plan. I will do this (in the morning, before bed, etc.)

In order for me to feel in control and stress-free, I will need to review the following things each day:

1.

2.

3.

(others)